Pastoring is different when you are young

All of my life, I have tried to be older than I am.  

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a bigger kid.

When I was in middle school, I was ready to be in high school.

When I was a high schooler, I kept looking forward to college.

In college, I was ready for a career.

When I was single, I anticipated marriage.

Now I am a young pastor.  I feel a lot of pressure to act more like an older pastor.

Then I read 1 kings 12.

You have Solomon, this incredible King (with faults) who dies.  His son, Rehoboam takes over.  The people want Rehoboam to lighten their load to be less authoritative. They want to feel more appreciated, they wanted the younger leader to be different.

Rehoboam then asks advice from His father's elders who tell him that he should be less authoritative and serve them.

Then, he asks for advice from his inexperienced friends (who have read books, been to conferences, and follow blogs, but don't really know what they are talking about) for advice.  They say, man you are the King, you need to show them who is in charge.

He follows his friends advice, things don't go well.

Lesson:  I am not 40,50, 60..... I am 26.  I have not been a lead pastor for 10,20,30 years....I've been one for 1.5 years.  I'm not Solomon, I'm Rehoboam.  

I don't need to act like I am a king that expects everyone to follow my direction at the drop of a hat.  I need to realize that people are going to respond best to me as they see me lead by example, serve the people, and personally invest in the vision that God has given me.  

Leadership flows out of Authority and Affinity.  When you are younger, you have less authority, so love on the people more.  God calls the young, but it's more difficult.  But He wants to help us grow, so follow His advice on leading while being young....

or don't.... you know what you are doing; you have read books, blogs, and been to conferences. 

God help the outcast

We are all in need of relationships.  Even those who consider themselves to be loners.  Those who are content with just blending in with the crowd and going home after work, school, etc and being by themselves.  

We have seen that most of the people who just go home to be by themselves, actually aren't by themselves.  They watch their favorite television shows which they have become attached to or 

they play World of Warcraft (or another similar game) where they are able to connect with others in a safe environment.  They do not worry about being judged or being a disappointment to others.  They don't have to work extremely hard to fit in, they are just accepted by the common bond that they have with their fellow players.  They have been looking for relationships of acceptance and they have found them.  

as a church leader one word comes to mind......OUCH.  

If there is any environment where people should be able to feel accepted unconditionally it should be the gatherings that we call "church".  I know that we don't accept sins that people delve into or allow people to just fill whatever position they want to without any qualifications, but come on!

Why are there emotionally hurting adults AND TEENAGERS that we just push to the side?  Why do we look exactly like the rest of the world in the people that we accept?  

You might be saying, oh our church accepts all people, we are not judgemental like that.  Maybe, you are telling the truth....but in most cases that is BS.   Look who you spend the most of your time with.  Look who you are concerned with getting plugged in.  Look who you show the most grace to.  How equal are you?

I am going to go out on a limb and guess that Jesus did not show any favoritism nor does God show any favoritism.  So lets start giving everyone the same change to be used by God, 

HE DOES!

having it all together

This is something that is extremely far from being about me.

I am not saying this to complain or express personal disappointment.  I just want you to know that if you are struggling with not being good enough or not knowing what do, you are not alone!

When we have a view of how something should be going (our marriage, our career, our finances, or our health) and it is not meeting our expectations it can be very easy to become discouraged.  

The serenity prayer says "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; 

the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference."

What an old school thought that is so relevant for today.

When discouraged, we should ask ourselves if there is anything that we can do about this?

If there isn't..... then be still, and know that God is!

If there is..... then have the courage to take risks and change what is going on.  

Something I have to remind myself is that God's desire to use us for something incredible doesn't go away because of our failures or mistakes.

God, give me the wisdom to know the difference!

top 5 blogs (part 5 of 5)

i'm a good liar   4/29/09

 

I've become excellent at not being transparent but appearing to be so.

 

It is an art. 

 

It is taught at Pastors conference (maybe not directly, but it is).

 

It is the best way to become a successful pastor, leader, employee, spouse, parent.

 

Contemporary Churches have become environments where this is rewarded.  We love to hear some one's confession of  sin, some one's story of growth.  We don't actually want to investigate how they are doing today.  We don't want to look someone in the eye and sincerely ask them about sin.  It may involve more time, prayer, friendship.

 

We like the label of "authentic" without the work that comes with sincere authenticity.  

-will I truly be accepted if people know ____.  

-what will people think of the fact that I ____.

-I really don't want people to use ____ against me.

 

Let's what call it what it IS.

 

We are a culture of liars and typically we are a church of liars.

top 5 blogs (part 1 of 5)

responding to criticism        posted on  7/28/08

 

When someone begins to criticise me or an issue arises in a relationship, there is a simple process that I follow in order to make things right.

 

Step 1: I evaluate my life. I check to see if there is something related to the issue that I need to get in line with God. Usually there is.

 

Step 2: I evaluate (not judge) the other person and see if there is any black/white issue that shows they are clearly not following God.

 

Step 3: I ask someone that I trust about the issue. They usually point out something I can work on as well.

 

Step 4: I pray about resolving the issue.

 

Step 5: I attempt to resolve the issue. Start with you heart! Tell them where you desire the relationship to be.

 

This has been very helpful to me over the past year. I encourage you to follow this or come up with a process to handle relationship issues in your life.

i am what i am

A lot of times I do not feel like I deserve to be where I am in life.

because of my......past

because of my......age

because of my......mistakes

because of my......failures

because of my......weaknesses

because of my.....inexperience

because of my.....sin

because of my.....doubts

because of my.....insecurities

Paul talks about not deserving to be an apostle in 1 Corinthians 15:10 and has spoken to me in a very personal way

"by the grace of God, I am what I am and His grace will not be void, because I worked harder than all of them; not I but the grace of God with me."

you may not deserve to be where you are - influentially, financially, relationally, etc.... but by God's grace you are what you are.

a great privilege

One of the coolest things about being a part of a church body is the amount of times that you get prayed for.  

It sounds very "unhumble", but I really like being prayed for!

I am so thankful that you are praying for my family's physical and spiritual health.

I am so thankful that you are praying for my leadership.

I am so thankful that you are praying for God's growth in my life.

PLEASE DON'T STOP PRAYING!

I try to pray for our church partners pretty regularly.  Regardless of whether or not you attend mosaic, I would love to lift you up.  Shoot me an e-mail at james@mosaiccrestview or leave a comment if you have some requests!

The prayer of the the righteous is powerful and effective - James 5:16

preachers

If your desire to preach is bigger than your desire to see lives changed, then the source of your desire to preach is not God.

i am thankful to leaders who have gone before me

In "next generation leaders" Andy Stanley talks about how uncertainty increases with increased leadership responsibility.   The more things that you jump into as a leader the more things are uncertain.  With a lot of areas of leadership there is a great deal of intangibility, which means leaders have to make their best guess at deciding what is right for the situation.  

I am very thankful for the many Pastors and leaders who are ahead of me in their journey.  Leaders who have faced a lot of the same intangible decisions that I am facing or will have to face.  I am thankful for their courage to lead in the midst of uncertainty and for their willingness to be transparent about struggles they have faced and mistakes they have made.

I have benefited greatly from these men and women who have given me a lot of information to help me make the best guess at deciding what is right for situations.  

With twitter, blogs, websites, books, etc. there are some many opportunities to be able to learn from these courageous leaders.  

If you are young and in leadership, it is a mistake to think that you know best, that you are the LONE RENEGADE who is facing challenges and doing the right thing!  Everyone has their flaws, but everyone also has amazing strengths and experiences that we can benefit from!  Let's start letting them know how much we appreciate them!

Thank you leaders who have gone before me for making my life easier!

 

leaving on a jet plane

check out where I will be for the next few days:

www.creativechurchconference.com

well done

I constantly struggle with what God views as success and what man views as success.

When I worked in the mortgage industry what I needed to do was clear, whatever made me the most money.
When I played competitive sports what I needed to do was clear, whatever caused me to have the best chance to win!

I know that God has called me to pastor for a reason. I know that He wants me to help lead people to be more like Him and for them to lead others to be more like Him. (Ephesians)

For those of you who do not know, I didn't plan to plant a church. I didn't dream of it for years and years. I didn't even know much about church planting. It just happened ( which has been cool and not cool in many ways, lol).

I believe that it was God's plan. I believe that I was obedient to His call on my life. I believe that He is using us to do incredible things.

Our church is growing numerically, but I don't just want to have bigger numbers.
People are getting excited, but I don't just want our church to be cool.
We are doing things, but I don't just want to do a lot of stuff.

I want God to be pleased with me. I want to be in His will. I want people to be transformed through what we are doing.

I see a lot of guys who are pastors or want to be pastors who (regardless of what they say or what I will say about them) want man's recognition for what they do.

I do not want to be that guy; I can't be that guy even when I try.

I don't want to be successful, I want to be a servant. For even the son of man did not come to be served, but to serve.

Love is not a victory march,it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen

open

Last night, I decided to drop in on our life group entitled open. Open is a group that meets at Starbucks every Sunday night. They usually start by discussing the topic of that day's sermon and then whatever is going on in someones life. The idea behind this group is to be a small step for someone to make to get more plugged into our church.

WOW!

I was absolutely amazed at the openness between people who had not met each other before that day. I was amazed at the willingness for new people to share what is going on in their life. I was encouraged by this small groups success in doing what we believe God has it there for.

If you are not seeing guests/regular attenders become more invovled in the body, then be creative. Start service based groups, interst groups, use different nights of the week, go to public locations, and do whatever it takes!

What works for us may or may not work for you, but is part of our call as Pastors and leaders of the church to do something to try and equip people (eph 4) and we have to figure out steps that people can take to move them along on their walk with Christ!

30-45 minutes of my day

I usually try to listen to one sermon each day. Who I listen to changes, but here is who I listen to right now.

Monday - me
Tuesday- Eric Partin, Shoreline Church
Wednesday- Andy Stanley, North Point Community Church
Thursday- John Cross, South Biscayne Church
Friday-various (Francis Chan, David Hughes, Troy Gramling, Ed Young)

Thanksgiving

In honor of thanksgiving week, I will be posting about five different people that are a part of mosaic over the next five days. I am of course thankful for everyone who is involved with our church, but I wanted to take the time to recognize these five people. I pray that every pastor has one of these five people in their life.

what is the problem?

John Maxwell says that "everything rises and falls on leadership."

So, when you have a challenge with a staff of your church, when people aren't getting the vision, when leaders are not stepping up, when people aren't giving, when the word is getting out of the four walls; there is one place that you need to look...................................at the leadership.

If you are at an established Church, it may be a deacon board or some lady who has been at the church for 40 years who is the actual leader of the church.

But, in a church plant......it is you. You have got to be the one God uses to bring about results.

What are you doing to see that God's call on your life is being carried out. How are you equipping people to carry our their role, how are sharing the vision, how are leading people to step up to the plate, how generous are you and how are you explaining why people should be, how are you spreading the word and how are you pushing people in that direction?

EVERYTHING rises on falls on the leader.